Passing clouds of inconsequential observations
Apparently in Waitrose world we celebrate something called Thanksgiving (whatever that is)
And you can order your Sunday paper…
If only The Observer was called The Sunday Observer it would be easier to find…
But to be fair it has only been a Sunday paper since 1791 so we may need to leave it awhile while the database refreshes.
Why is anyone surprised by this? If all the banking sites are as bad as the abysmal Co-op bank‘s recent improved online banking efforts.
Responsive design? Never heard of it. There is a Next button and a Help link in there somewhere. You will find them eventually. They ask you to change your password. Insisting it needs to be at least a certain length and contain certain characters. Yes there is an upper limit to how long it can be but they are not going to tell you what that is – you will figure it out eventually.
Once you have entered your Username, Password and security code you are welcomed into their warm embrace….
…where you can play hunt the OK button. There is not much empty space available on this page so they had to hide the OK button. You will find it eventually.
With the mobile app…. Enter 6 digits and tap Log in…
Simples!
In the washing up….
Who does not love random strangers reading their random posts? I know I do and would like to thank those that have taken the time to visit here – probably hoping to find something interesting but usually finding not very much at all (that was one of the most popular posts!).
Who does not love spending time in blissful isolated silent solitude? I know I do but the rest of the world constantly conspires against me.
Thanks to the wonders of the Internet one learns that introversion is fairly normal and not something that needs to be fixed. Sometimes I try to imagine a world where everyone was an introvert. How wonderful would life be then? How different would things be – work patterns, house construction, advertising, etc.? But ultimately I have to concede that one has been so conditioned with the way things are that I would probably miss all the tittle-tattle, opinion sharing, questioning, I don’t really have anything worth saying but I love the sound of my own voice background noise that we have to inhabit every day.
Note: My escape involves putting on the headphones and turning the volume up as loud as it goes. My silent solitude is other people’s unpleasant noise.
Who does not love the idea of posting nothing? I know I do.
A true Zen saying: Nothing is what I want.
Frank Zappa – Dummy Up
Once upon a time we did not have a zero so we could not have nothing but someone thought it would be a good idea – and it probably was.
Today a computer programmer will sometimes have to distinguish between zero, nil and null which can all mean different types of nothing.
That’s it. There is nothing more to be said.
Who does not love being inspired? I know I do.
Who does not love making up words for Words With Friends? I know I do and today’s made up word is Hoya.
Apparently a flower named after the English gardner Thomas Hoy ( c.1750– c.1821). Or the Japanese name for a Sea Pineapple or opticals manufacturer. Or a singer in a south Korean band. But mostly it provides an excuse to not have to decide between Howlin’ Wolf or Jimi Hendrix.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09j6vMdKi3E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JsuWz4xWc
Who does not love the smell of baking bread? I know I do and every other day I am mixing up the sourdough ready to go. The mixture is flour and water with a sprinkle of salt and a splash of oil. In the place of yeast you use what is known as a starter which is itself flour and water that has been left to develop into a microscopic battleground between bacterias and natural yeasts. This can sometimes seem like a chemistry lesson…
A starter prepared from scratch with a salted wheat-rye dough takes about 54 hours at 27 °C (81 °F) to stabilise at a pH between 4.4 and 4.6. 4% salt inhibits L. sanfranciscensis, while C. milleri can withstand 8%.
…or a history lesson as people make bizarre claims for the longevity of their starter. But if you just remind yourself that millions of people have been doing this for thousands of years without knowing any of that stuff you will be fine and it is really easy…
To start the starter mix some flour and warm water in a one pint bowl to a fairly thick batter and leave it out for a couple of days until it starts to bubble and looks lively. You need to feed your starter with fresh flour and warm water. If you are not using it regularly throw half of it away and top it up with a feed once a week. It can live in the covered bowl kept in the fridge to slow its growth rate.
To make some bread get the starter out of the fridge and let it warm up for an hour or two. Then give it a feed with some fresh flour and warm water. Once it starts to bubble up it is ready to go.
Chuck around one pound (454 g) of strong bread flour in to a big bowl and add a good dollop (2 handfuls – yes it is a messy business) of your starter. If you want to do it properly you weigh out your flour and add everything else as a percentage of that weight. I rub the starter in to the flour as you would rub the fat when making pastry.
To this add a sprinkle of salt and a splash of oil if required. Then add some warm water to stick it all together to form a soft dough – better to be too wet than too dry as you can add more flour. Kneed your dough for a few minutes to make a nice smooth ball and then leave it for several hours – overnight works for me.
When you return to it there should be some noticeable growth.
Kneed it for around 7 minutes (this depends on the temperature/humidity of your kitchen etc.) and the dough should become quite stretchy. You can stretch it in to a long strip and fold it back over itself a couple of times to relieve the kneading strain. You are building up the microscopic structure of the bread and so the more criss-crossing strands you have the better. With a good structure you should be able to stretch the dough out thin enough to see light coming through it without any holes forming.
You can now shape your loaf and leave it for an hour to puff up a bit. You can put it in a loaf tin, a banneton or, with a fairly firm dough, form it in to the desired shape free hand. Slash it with a sharp blade to let the steam out while it bakes.
Put the oven on high (hotter than hot setting) and when it is really hot pop the bread in and bake for 45 – 55 minutes – reducing the heat half way through. You will then have a loaf full of yummy goodness.
Experiment. There are countless recipes and pages of advice but non of them are working in your kitchen with that flour you are using. See what works for you. You will get to know the feel of good dough. Even a bad loaf gets eaten.
Not only be it the day of the iOS 6 release but it also be Talk Like A Pirate Day which is why all the posts on this here blog be looking a bit stranger than usual.
But to keep you amused in the meantime here be Dan & Dan’s latest video offering: